25 May, 2008

let's hop to the next boat, shall we?

This would be my latest attempt to resurrect my blog. Oh dear me! I've been extremely slothful in every possible aspect relating with writing. Not trying to excuse myself, but since I finished my thesis I've felt I needed some time off with writing, although later on I fully regretted the decision. So I changed the lay out a bit, got my head sorted, forced myself to sit in front of the computer and made some effort to create a post.

I officially finished my uni. Nothing special really, but it still is something to be proud of considering I nearly cooled off my interest to finish my degree along the way. However, I managed to get there. I felt slightly emotional as I opened the letter sent by my course secretary. My degree certificate, as well as my transcript and other important stuff from my uni were in there. I decided to decline attending the graduation day and that is why they sent me the whole certificate and papers. I was there last year, therefore I don't see much point on spending more money to take part in this event. Not that I don't want to. Sometimes it's a healthy thing just to carry on and never look back.

Now life after uni is about to begin. Granted I must put some effort in to earn it: I have to admit that I've been very fortunate to be given the opportunity to choose where and how my life would be, considering not many people are fortunate enough with such things. Some people deal with no-win situations in their daily life, some deal with dead or alive situations, and I know a lot of people in Indonesia have to deal with similar situations. And here I am, sitting in front of my computer, contemplating what an ideal life is supposed to look like for me in the future. Oh the irony. But hey! at least I am aware and I fully acknowledge my privileges and try my best not to spoil it.

Sometimes to be privileged with choices is not an easy thing and can prove to be problematic. Especially for an Indonesian like me who has witnessed and lived in two different worlds. And I am sure I am not alone in saying that. A bad conscience always seems to surface in me. Particularly if I feel I am not making enough effort or simply taking things for granted. That is why I really don't want to spoil my opportunities and want to seriously consider every step I make. What I am trying to say is: I am not really keen on making a big decision. In fact, I dislike being in a position to decide, especially if it is about my own life.

But I know time goes by ridiculously fast. And I have no choice but to convince myself that the decision to move from Berlin is a good thing to do. For the better possibly. 'Where to' remains unclear, nonetheless I am relishing the prospect of hopping to the next boat and I hope it will be a nice last hop, a gobsmackingly good one...

6 comments:

zchronicle said...

gil, pakabar?

playingdrama said...

Hallo Zaki,

I'm fine, thanks. yourself? =)

Rifki Akbari said...

finally..ure back gil!

playingdrama said...

just a little slap on my face that's what i need to wake me up :D

Finally Woken said...

@Funny this is coming from someone who consistently beats me on Scramble! You only need to grab one of two words out of your fabulous head and pour them down. Congrats Gil. When can we play Scramble again? My ultimate goal is to beat you, hah!:)

playingdrama said...

Thanks and my goodness Anita, I'm embarrassed! :D Now everyone knows why I've been slacking around with my blog ;)