09 January, 2009

oh those silly boys in blue

Location: Victoria Coach Bus Station, London.
Thursday 8 Jan 2009
Time: 17.20


A guy got his mobile out of his coat's pocket and started to press some buttons with a certain excitement on his face. (guy speaking)

Guy: "hey schatz, how are you?"
(Person on the other line): "hey hun, I'm alright, thanks. About to cook dinner. How are you?"
Guy: "I am not bad, thank you. What are you cooking?"
Girl: "I am cooking pasta with courgette and tuna"
Guy: "Listen, my mobile is running out of credit. Can you please call me back from the landline instead?"
Girl: "Yeah, what's happened?"
Guy: "I just had a good laugh and feel like having a bit chat and share it with you"
Girl: "Okay, I'll call you back shortly. bye now" (She hung her phone up)

The guy's mobile is ringing briefly after that (answering mobile)

Girl: "hey hun, what's happened? is everything alright?" (sounded worried)
Guy: "yeah, everything is fine (started to sound excited). You won't believe what has just happened to me! If I was by myself, I would have been laughing out loud because of this"
Girl: "okay, tell me what's happened then..."
Guy: "well, I am at Victoria Coach Station at the moment and.. you know my bus is at 6 o'clock, right? so I am a bit too early for the bus. Whilst waiting, I started to read newspaper and open up the Carlsberg I've brought from home."
Girl: "hmm..."
Guy: "And you know what..? I didn't notice at all that two policemen came to my direction, approached me and stopped in front of me. One of them started to talk to me...

Police I: "Sir, we have seen you having a can of beer there, next to you. You do know that it is a fineable offence to drink alcohol in public places. So we might request you to remove that can or we might have to fine you if you carry on drinking" (he was smiling when saying all of those things though)
Guy: "Oh, I am sorry officer. I didn't know about such rules. I thought it is only forbidden in the Underground".
Police II: " I am afraid it is not, Sir. It is against the law to consume alcohol (beer) in public places and as you can see there (pointing to a random direction), there is a big sign stating this rule" (he was smiling too)
Guy: "Oops. I really am sorry, officer. I clearly missed that sign (evidently)!" (trying to look apologetic)
Police I: "that's alright, Sir. Do you have an ID with you?"
Guy: "erm, no, not really. I am just a day-tripper here. As a matter of fact I am here because I need to extend my passport. I live in Leeds. But I can give you this (handed in his online bus ticket with personal details in it) Am I committing crime, officer?"
Police I: "no, Sir. No worries. We just need to make a report, hence, we need your details for this (showing the guy a small ticket that looks like a job application form)"
Guy: "Oh, okay. You see officer, I have just literally moved to Leeds from Berlin about few months ago. In Berlin, or in Germany in general, it is not a crime or against the law to consume alcohol in public places. In fact, you can even drink in front of the police and you won't get told off for doing that (smart arse!) And I am not trying to take the mick by saying that. So, pardon me for not knowing these rules".
Police II: "well, Sir. I am afraid people can't do that here. People can only do that in the outskirt of London but not inside the city."
Police I: "How tall are you, Sir?"
Guy: "about 174cm, so it's 5 foot 9 maybe?"
Police II: "just write 5 10 then"
Police I: "how do you describe your ethnicity background?" (showing me a part of the ticket that contains ethnicity background)
Guy: "I don't know, let me see. Other Asian maybe?"
Police I: "Okay, it's done. Here you go, Sir"
Police II: "and the can, Sir...?"
Guy: "Oh... (looked gutted) there you go, officer"

...

Girl: "I thought you knew about these rules?"
Guy: "Hun, how on earth was I supposed to know? I've just been here less than 3 months". (started to laugh again)
Girl: "Oh well, at least you didn't get fined. Were they nice to you?"
Guy: "Yeah, surprisingly they were really nice and friendly. Perhaps they were really bored and then all of sudden.. Oh, look someone with a can of beer in a public place. Let's tell him off.."
Girl: "yeah, maybe.. It was hilarious though."
Guy: (still laughing) "it was damn hilarious. A culture shock I'd say! I was having a good laugh. People were looking at me with this look, you know.. what the hell are you doing, you plonker? But, I couldn't care less."
Girl: (giggle) "Oh, I am glad you're having fun."
Guy: "Thanks Hun. I am gutted though."
Girl: "why?"
Guy: "Because... They took away my Carlsberg can, chucked the beer down the drain and chucked the can in the rubbish bin. I've only had like a sip of it. It was still full! what was that all about?"
Girl: "You silly boy!(laughing) alright then hun, I am gonna get ready. Have a good journey and I'll see you tonight".
Guy: "Have fun with your footie and enjoy the pasta. See you later."

The guy, still looked half perplexed and half excited by the occurrence, started to get his mp3 player out and looked for a certain song from the playlist. "Riot Van" from Arctic Monkeys then accompanied his journey back...

"have you been drinking son, you don't look old enough to me.
I am sorry officer, is there a certain age where you're supposed to be, cause nobody told me.."

2 comments:

rielz said...

looooooolllllllllllll!!!!
gue jadi inget temen gue yang tinggal di amrik n maen kemari sommmer kemaren...
dia bingung gitu kalo di jerman boleh minum alkohol di jalanan... dia sampe nanya berkali2 buat mastiin...
ternyata di sono sama juga toh :D

playingdrama said...

lain kali mesti mastiin nggak ada polisi keliling2.. :D