society of spectacle

jadilah, maka jadilah!

2010-05-12T21:24:00.003+02:00

Saya memutuskan untuk menghidupkan kembali blog ini. Dengan nuansa baru dengan gaya bertutur yang juga baru, bahasa Indonesia. Asing rasanya, karena melihat kembali tulisan-tulisan saya yang lalu dimana saya menulisnya dalam bahasa kedua saya, membuat saya tak habis pikir, kenapa saya harus bersusah payah sedemikian rupa untuk melakukan itu? Saya tidak mengatakan bahwa tulisan-tulisan tersebut tidak mengasikkan untuk diciptakan karena tantangan ekstra untuk menuliskannya dalam bahasa kedua. Tetapi menulis seharusnya membebaskan, bukan membuat kita terkekang atau terbebani! Sehingga saya memutuskan untuk menulis menuruti permintaan bahasa yang terlintas di benak saya. Sekarang yang menjadi pertanyaan berikutnya adalah konsistensi, karena apalah manusia tanpa inkonsistensi? Maka saya akan berusaha untuk melampaui inkonsistensi saya dan akan berusaha untuk terus menulis yang baru, ringan dan mengasyikkan ataupun yang lama, berat dan mungkin sedikit menjemukan. jadilah, maka jadilah...

Our Fair Trade Business

2009-07-06T17:28:00.004+02:00

My fiancee and I proudly announce our fair trade jewellery business that we have just recently launched. We are extremely excited about our new adventure and hoping that you accompany us along the way. Feel free to visit our website and spread the word. Purchase is most welcome ;)

oh those silly boys in blue

2009-01-09T19:49:00.001+01:00

Location: Victoria Coach Bus Station, London.
Thursday 8 Jan 2009
Time: 17.20

A guy got his mobile out of his coat's pocket and started to press some buttons with a certain excitement on his face. (guy speaking)

Guy: "hey schatz, how are you?"
(Person on the other line): "hey hun, I'm alright, thanks. About to cook dinner. How are you?"
Guy: "I am not bad, thank you. What are you cooking?"
Girl: "I am cooking pasta with courgette and tuna"
Guy: "Listen, my mobile is running out of credit. Can you please call me back from the landline instead?"
Girl: "Yeah, what's happened?"
Guy: "I just had a good laugh and feel like having a bit chat and share it with you"
Girl: "Okay, I'll call you back shortly. bye now" (She hung her phone up)

The guy's mobile is ringing briefly after that (answering mobile)

Girl: "hey hun, what's happened? is everything alright?" (sounded worried)
Guy: "yeah, everything is fine (started to sound excited). You won't believe what has just happened to me! If I was by myself, I would have been laughing out loud because of this"
Girl: "okay, tell me what's happened then..."
Guy: "well, I am at Victoria Coach Station at the moment and.. you know my bus is at 6 o'clock, right? so I am a bit too early for the bus. Whilst waiting, I started to read newspaper and open up the Carlsberg I've brought from home."
Girl: "hmm..."
Guy: "And you know what..? I didn't notice at all that two policemen came to my direction, approached me and stopped in front of me. One of them started to talk to me...

Police I: "Sir, we have seen you having a can of beer there, next to you. You do know that it is a fineable offence to drink alcohol in public places. So we might request you to remove that can or we might have to fine you if you carry on drinking" (he was smiling when saying all of those things though)
Guy: "Oh, I am sorry officer. I didn't know about such rules. I thought it is only forbidden in the Underground".
Police II: " I am afraid it is not, Sir. It is against the law to consume alcohol (beer) in public places and as you can see there (pointing to a random direction), there is a big sign stating this rule" (he was smiling too)
Guy: "Oops. I really am sorry, officer. I clearly missed that sign (evidently)!" (trying to look apologetic)
Police I: "that's alright, Sir. Do you have an ID with you?"
Guy: "erm, no, not really. I am just a day-tripper here. As a matter of fact I am here because I need to extend my passport. I live in Leeds. But I can give you this (handed in his online bus ticket with personal details in it) Am I committing crime, officer?"
Police I: "no, Sir. No worries. We just need to make a report, hence, we need your details for this (showing the guy a small ticket that looks like a job application form)"
Guy: "Oh, okay. You see officer, I have just literally moved to Leeds from Berlin about few months ago. In Berlin, or in Germany in general, it is not a crime or against the law to consume alcohol in public places. In fact, you can even drink in front of the police and you won't get told off for doing that (smart arse!) And I am not trying to take the mick by saying that. So, pardon me for not knowing these rules".
Police II: "well, Sir. I am afraid people can't do that here. People can only do that in the outskirt of London but not inside the city."
Police I: "How tall are you, Sir?"
Guy: "about 174cm, so it's 5 foot 9 maybe?"
Police II: "just write 5 10 then"
Police I: "how do you describe your ethnicity background?" (showing me a part of the ticket that contains ethnicity background)
Guy: "I don't know, let me see. Other Asian maybe?"
Police I: "Okay, it's done. Here you go, Sir"
Police II: "and the can, Sir...?"
Guy: "Oh... (looked gutted) there you go, officer"

...

Girl: "I thought you knew about these rules?"
Guy: "Hun, how on earth was I supposed to know? I've just been here less than 3 months". (started to laugh again)
Girl: "Oh well, at least you didn't get fined. Were they nice to you?"
Guy: "Yeah, surprisingly they were really nice and friendly. Perhaps they were really bored and then all of sudden.. Oh, look someone with a can of beer in a public place. Let's tell him off.."
Girl: "yeah, maybe.. It was hilarious though."
Guy: (still laughing) "it was damn hilarious. A culture shock I'd say! I was having a good laugh. People were looking at me with this look, you know.. what the hell are you doing, you plonker? But, I couldn't care less."
Girl: (giggle) "Oh, I am glad you're having fun."
Guy: "Thanks Hun. I am gutted though."
Girl: "why?"
Guy: "Because... They took away my Carlsberg can, chucked the beer down the drain and chucked the can in the rubbish bin. I've only had like a sip of it. It was still full! what was that all about?"
Girl: "You silly boy!(laughing) alright then hun, I am gonna get ready. Have a good journey and I'll see you tonight".
Guy: "Have fun with your footie and enjoy the pasta. See you later."

The guy, still looked half perplexed and half excited by the occurrence, started to get his mp3 player out and looked for a certain song from the playlist. "Riot Van" from Arctic Monkeys then accompanied his journey back...

"have you been drinking son, you don't look old enough to me.
I am sorry officer, is there a certain age where you're supposed to be, cause nobody told me.."

marketing at its finest

2008-12-11T16:36:00.005+01:00

starting things all over again is never an easy thing to do. but when it comes down to the point where you can't help to think "okay, this is it. we need to move on" then it's fair to say that changes are inevitable.

having initially planned to move to Liverpool, we had a change of heart at the last minute after a successful day trip with the letting agency in Leeds. the letting agent showed us few options of flat in Leeds, as well as promoted what a cool city Leeds is. a pretty persuasion and it worked well on us. here we are now, living in one of the largest financial and legal centres outside London and a place where some of Britain's contemporary bands originate: Embrace, Kaiser Chiefs, and Pigeon Detective to name a few.

having spent a fair few weeks roaming around the city centre, what struck me most from the city is that this city is like Mecca for shopaholics who seek a decent pilgrimage place to go. if you want to throw your money down the drain for shopping, there's no need to look for another place. after having fallen into the trap of consumptive behaviour in my first weeks in this city myself, i retracted and tried to put things into perspective.

now that christmas is literally knocking on the door within few weeks, streets are even more packed with people carrying shopping bags, wandering around and thinking what sort of stuff they can buy for christmas presents for their dear ones.

i, myself, can't help to ponder how people actually perceive christmas in this country. a few hypothesis came across my head. the most obvious one is that it is one of those occasions where you actually spend quality time with your family. you can say that the equivalent event like christmas in Indonesia is Eid Mubarak for Muslims.

i actually quite like the idea of people buying presents for their endeared one. what puzzles me sometimes is the question whether it really is necessary for people spending so much money buying presents.

i am of the opinion that christmas is nothing but a perfect event for companies to sell their products. there is nothing wrong with that. right or wrong is perhaps irrelevant anyway. what more important is that people should be more aware with this and simply not fall into the trap of such marketing strategies. i keep saying to myself, this is a perfect example where a 'religious event' can be exploited to a certain degree.

a rather similar example with such 'exploitation' is when Muslims do their pilgrimage in Saudi Arabia. almost three million people around the world go to Saudi Arabia to do their pilgrimage every year. a fascinating number indeed. more importantly, a really good income for the Saudi Arabian's government. why bother to fight for oil in Middle East if you can collect billions from these people every year?

i keep getting told off by my girlfriend for being so cynical about christmas. although she's never bought the idea of religion herself but she's always got a soft spot for christmas, in the same way like me and Eid Mubarak. why she can always be critical when talking about religion in general and not about christmas, i will never know. having said all of that, i am trying to stay positive and enjoy the experience. who knows i might not live long enough to witness my next christmas?

on the edge

2008-07-04T16:03:00.001+02:00

Morality is linked with liberty, that’s the main argument of my girl friend’s recent post on her blog. To strengthen the argument, she pointed out some examples from day-to-day activities which can be categorised as ‘wrong’ or ‘immoral’. Despite mentioning the reason why such acts can be considered ‘wrong’ or ‘immoral’, the argument still appears fairly commonsensical to me, therefore, is worth of question.

In an ideal world, moral authority is supposed to be built on a mutual understanding and common interests. That is to say that one party can not claim to have the ultimate moral authority because, say for example, their set of rules ‘originated’ from the omnipotent, thus, leaving them uncontested and unquestionable. What is considered to be the truth, therefore, has to be based on the shared view – if some people do not share the same view, truth can not be imposed.

In the world we live in, manufacturing consent is an ambitious task, therefore leaving us in a fuzzy realm how to justify right or wrong. It even applies on a daily basis. Stealing can be considered ‘wrong’ or ‘immoral’ because it infringes someone’s right to property, but how can you justify stealing is wrong if a person is stealing a loaf of bread to survive? How about to accidentally murder someone as a self-defense reaction? Things can not be viewed as pure black and white. Even in some ‘heavy’ cases like mass murder, rape, or child abuse, where the verdict from a common sense viewpoint is nothing but ‘wrong’ or ‘immoral’, you can still argue that these cases could have remained undecided (say a person who committed mass murder has a history of schizophrenia). Even if opposing the argument would make me look inhuman and ruthless, so be it, because to me the key is reasoning and contextual.

Don’t get me wrong, as I do not oppose the idea of having a set of morality to follow. It is as a matter of fact a profound idea. However, blatantly following a certain premise to judge a phenomenon without taking any consideration of its broader context is plain absurd to me, even if this was meant to answer the inquiry refusing a prescribed set of morals from religions.

(I am so hungry now. Thinking is a heavy sport and energy consuming)

Oh, and I am still spiritually lost.

lost

2008-07-02T04:47:00.002+02:00

lost (lôst, lst)
adj.
1. Unable to find one's way
2. a. No longer in the possession, care, or control of someone or something
b. No longer in existence; vanished or spent
c. No longer known or practiced
d. Beyond reach, communication, or influence
3. Not used to one's benefit or advantage
4. Having not been or unlikely to be won; unsuccessful
5. Beyond recovery or redemption; fallen or destroyed: a lost soul.
6. a. Completely involved or absorbed; rapt
b. Bewildered or confused

spir·i·tu·al (spr-ch-l)
adj.
1. Of, relating to, consisting of, or having the nature of spirit; not tangible or material.
2. Of, concerned with, or affecting the soul.
3. Of, from, or relating to God; deific.
4. Of or belonging to a church or religion; sacred.
5. Relating to or having the nature of spirits or a spirit; supernatural.

I'm feeling (spiritually) lost

FI-NAA-LEE (as they say in German)

2008-06-26T09:33:00.002+02:00

First of all, I must say: well done to Turkey! You've given the spectators some utterly fantastic, nailbiting and breathtaking moment. They might have felt hard done by Germany as the match showed it wasn't the best team who went through. Germany sat back and were outplayed almost the whole match by their counterpart (apart from scoring). Alas, I couldn't care less who won it, it was a great match after all.

Nonetheless, credit where it's due. Germany have been showing some solid performances and when it comes down to scoring and getting through, intriguingly, they always manage to get there. Fair play to them. It's football who wins at the end of the day. My only hope is that the final in Euro 2008 will provide another fantastic display whoever the finalists are.

it was an utter madness! (but I liked it)

2008-06-20T11:44:00.007+02:00

people got wasted all over the place, shouting and chanting random words, blocked the roads and lighted some firecrackers up, cars honked, the whole Berlin was a total chaos that night! It was an utter madness. Granted Germany played really well to dominate the game and eliminate Portugal from the Euro 2008, but I would have never expected the reaction from the crowd and the public would be that lunatic! Yes, lunatic!

Having seen the Germans in glamorous euphoria made me ponder. On the one side, it was a good thing to see that they could be proud to wave their flag and sang their national anthem loudly again after all the fuss of their history. It was a good thing to see that being nationalistic to some extent is not a crime and one shouldn't be ashamed to express it.

On the other side, what I found quite interesting was that the winning against Portugal in Euro 2008 was somehow justified my assumption to a lesser extent about 'controlled society'. The reaction from some people after the winning was simply stunning. It was as if I was seeing the 'floodgate' was being open.

Yes, I must admit that I play a little bit with stereotype in saying that most Germans are: extremely law-abiding, absurdly obsessed with well-order and rather rigid in some respects (you can always expect that you will meet an uncanny unfriendliness from most of the people you see on the street).

Stereotype, nonetheless, doesn't always necessarily mean a bad thing as some might argue. For instance, what I stated above, I do think it's somewhat a fair assessment. Although, I realise that every generalisation is dangerous, including this one. You put people into boxes, give them labels and reduce them into something they are not. So, I might contradict myself by saying all of this.

However, the point which I am trying to put across by saying that is, at the end of the day, human beings are just human beings: they love to have an off day where rules and regulations were simply made to be broken, simply chaotic, less mechanical, and perhaps less-order.

This might be a bit of diversion, but the experience that night reminded me a lot in one of my trips where I had to transit in Don Muang and Changi international Airport. For me personally, it's always nice to be in Don Muang Airport in Bangkok rather than to be in Changi international Airport in Singapore. In Don Muang, you can sense the humanness of the place and notice that straight away with the chaotic nuance but intriguingly attractive whereas in Changi, you'd feel as if you are in a hospital, sterile, mechanical and utterly boring.

That moment where Berlin got crazy was pleased me somehow. It's always nice to witness people united and celebrated the joyful moment together no matter what they are. Maybe football indeed is a universal language. My only question is what will happen to this language if Germany gets knocked out in the semifinal by Turkey? =)

let's hop to the next boat, shall we?

2008-05-25T13:02:00.010+02:00

This would be my latest attempt to resurrect my blog. Oh dear me! I've been extremely slothful in every possible aspect relating with writing. Not trying to excuse myself, but since I finished my thesis I've felt I needed some time off with writing, although later on I fully regretted the decision. So I changed the lay out a bit, got my head sorted, forced myself to sit in front of the computer and made some effort to create a post.

I officially finished my uni. Nothing special really, but it still is something to be proud of considering I nearly cooled off my interest to finish my degree along the way. However, I managed to get there. I felt slightly emotional as I opened the letter sent by my course secretary. My degree certificate, as well as my transcript and other important stuff from my uni were in there. I decided to decline attending the graduation day and that is why they sent me the whole certificate and papers. I was there last year, therefore I don't see much point on spending more money to take part in this event. Not that I don't want to. Sometimes it's a healthy thing just to carry on and never look back.

Now life after uni is about to begin. Granted I must put some effort in to earn it: I have to admit that I've been very fortunate to be given the opportunity to choose where and how my life would be, considering not many people are fortunate enough with such things. Some people deal with no-win situations in their daily life, some deal with dead or alive situations, and I know a lot of people in Indonesia have to deal with similar situations. And here I am, sitting in front of my computer, contemplating what an ideal life is supposed to look like for me in the future. Oh the irony. But hey! at least I am aware and I fully acknowledge my privileges and try my best not to spoil it.

Sometimes to be privileged with choices is not an easy thing and can prove to be problematic. Especially for an Indonesian like me who has witnessed and lived in two different worlds. And I am sure I am not alone in saying that. A bad conscience always seems to surface in me. Particularly if I feel I am not making enough effort or simply taking things for granted. That is why I really don't want to spoil my opportunities and want to seriously consider every step I make. What I am trying to say is: I am not really keen on making a big decision. In fact, I dislike being in a position to decide, especially if it is about my own life.

But I know time goes by ridiculously fast. And I have no choice but to convince myself that the decision to move from Berlin is a good thing to do. For the better possibly. 'Where to' remains unclear, nonetheless I am relishing the prospect of hopping to the next boat and I hope it will be a nice last hop, a gobsmackingly good one...

foucault's pendulum

2008-02-29T13:27:00.002+01:00

Life is just a series crisis pendulum that swings from one anxiety to another one..

finished my thesis, but feeling apprehensive for my residence permit. If God does exist, he must have had an extremely bizarre sense of humour.. OR if God does have sense of humour, I must have been a terrible audience for not laughing about it..

suspended!

2008-01-22T17:23:00.000+01:00

Due to my final thesis' deadline, this blog has been temporarily suspended until further notice.

random weekend's rant

2007-12-09T11:57:00.000+01:00

What's the similarity of these facts and figures from the Guardian with watching Liverpool's side brushed aside against Reading on Saturday EPL's fixture? I reckon it might be a piece of cake for you, and yes, you might have guessed it correctly if you guessed they are both unimpressive in their own way!

Watching the away team struggled to gel and performed flowing football and retained the possession against the resilient Reading side on Saturday was really breaking my heart. And the fact that he took three of the best players on the pitch when losing 2-1 to save them for the Champions League's away match was less convincing as well. Nonetheless, to support a team, to put it simply, is like giving your vows in a marriage: for better or worse! So yes, I will stay with you for better or worse Reds and you'll never walk alone! Okay, enough said about football! I think credit should be given to where it's due.

Back to the issues, check these devastating tags (see here for more pictures and heart-breaking tags!) from the the Guardian:

"up to a quarter of all manmade greenhouse emissions are thought to come from deforestation, more than from the world’s transport systems combined. If factored into global emissions, Indonesia becomes the world’s largest producer of carbon dioxide"

"View of Harapan forest from the air. Across Indonesia, an area of jungle the size of 300 football pitches is cleared every hour"

300 football pitches is a massive amount mates! Especially if you running around on the pitch like a headless chicken, more or less like Liverpool players did on Saturday after Rafa took Saint Stevie off. Sorry, can't stop thinking out loud why the fans could see it but the manager did not! It really broke my heart...

(pictures taken from: guardian.co.uk and goal.com)

simply irresistible

2007-12-04T11:01:00.000+01:00

what can i say? she's got the charm to serenade and hypnotise the crowd...

Yes, I'm talking about Kate Nash at her last night's concert. First of all, I must admit that I was being a horrible person. Why is that so? Before last night's concert, I've got the impression that she looked a bit chav and by being Lily Allen's best mate for sure did not improve my judgment either. I have nothing against their music, as a matter of fact I really like it. My disagreement was probably more to the way they dress rather than their music style. Anyway, I was being silly for thinking so and admittedly, I was wrong. Her last night's performance on the stage was simply a joy to behold AND she looked damn cute!

She appeared late on the stage. We found out later on that the lead singer from the opening band, which happened also to be one of her friends was having some problems and needed to be hospitalised. The concert, which was supposed to be scheduled to start at 9 pm, was delayed and not to start until 9.30 pm. The crowd looked uneasy when the clock showed at 9.25 pm. A young girl in front of us was vomiting and looked really sick just before the show began, and the place where she vomited was just perfectly an inch in front of us. Great, make my day girl! Thanks to her friends, who then told the official not long after that and came with a lady with a sand bag to cover up the trace on the floor and most importantly the stink of the vomit.

I don't want to spoil the good memories from the concert so I'll quit the detail about the pre-concert drama. Later on, Kate Nash showed up at 9.30 pm with her band and started immediately with her first song, Play, from the Made of Bricks album. She then continued with the whole songs from her first album. The crowd occasionally sang along with her. Some of them shouted out loud, "we love you, Kate!". Some of them were just being completely in hysteria (like me!). All in all, the show went pretty well to some point until...

Two couple of teenagers appeared in front of us and started to act as if they were really cool gigs and big fans of Kate Nash. Honestly! One girl in particular got a few raised eye brow from the people surrounding her because.. oh well, what can i say? the sky is the limit for her idiocy! And that was not it. She was actually standing on the vomit spot and she didn't seem to be bothered at all about that. The climax was, of course, my favourite subject: cigarette.

Yes, although it was written conspicuously all over the place that the artist kindly requests people not to smoke in any part of the concert hall during the show but these kids seemed really wasted and couldn't be bothered to read the announcement apparently.

Yes, indeed it justified my hypothesis! They're not ignorant, they're just bunch of bloody selfish adolescents! Up to the point where they were about to lighten their second cigarettes, I was really shaky and couldn't stand not to shout at them. My girlfriend stop me from doing further action against them. I was helpless and it really put me off, as well as devastatingly kill my joy of the concert. I tried to ignore it but it was not an easy thing to do.

After a while, I was able to quieten down myself. Still I couldn't believe such preposterous event occurred. I did attempt to stop it but again what can I say... only the sky is the limit for idiocy and stupidity. Perhaps I should learn a bit of patience and a way to calm down myself in such situation from my girlfriend.

All in all, the show was brilliant, has to be said. I didn't regret to go there although it would have been so much better had such atrocity not taken place. It was simply irresistible...

(image taken from www.thisisfakediy.co.uk)

Kate Nash

2007-12-03T18:17:00.000+01:00

Yay!! We're going to Kate Nash's concert tonight!! Yup, that Kate Nash with her 'Skeleton Song' and 'Mariella' (sorry folks, couldn't find her official clips for those songs in youtube!). She's touted as one of the brightest talents in British music industry apart from Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse (Err, I actually made that one up because I simply love their music!) Gee, look at her picture! isn't she gorge? ;) *ehem* gotta get ready now!

watch this space...

Oh those smokers!

2007-11-30T13:12:00.001+01:00

Yes Hun, it was a fine evening. Not that we planned to do something spectacular but it happened to be a very enjoyable moment for this week.

The original plan was that we needed to go to the local tax or finance office, or as they call it in German ‘das Finanzamt’, to sort things out a bit about our income and tax. We went there in the afternoon with a bit of hope that the office would still be open and not too many people queuing for the number.

On our way to the tax office, we got stuck in a cute handicraft shop that sells cute and nice random stuff from different regions in south East Asia. So we popped in for a while and found out that not only the shop sells exotic and fine stuff but also gorgeous furniture with reasonably fair price. My partner managed to buy a nice wooden vase for Christmas presents, as well as a colourful made-in-Nepal hat. We were really pleased that we somehow stumbled into this shop so that for our future preferences we know where to buy stuff for presents.

After having bought stuff for presents, we then walked to a small Thai Restaurant called ‘Goldener Buddha’ near the Schönhauseralle tram stop for dinner. I didn’t expect to get seated that easily because when I was there last time, not only the place was packed and I hardly get a seat but I had to wait for quite sometime before I got a seat. So, after food was served we started to enjoy our meal and had a chat about random stuff.

Somewhere in between, the young German couple who sat just next to our table started to lighten the cigarette whilst they were waiting for their food. I gave them a stern look but they didn’t seem to be bothered with that and kept continuing spreading the nicotine. It really ruined the ambiance, as well as my mood, but as I mentioned they didn’t seem to care at all about the feeling of other non-smoker customers in that restaurant. I looked around and tried to collect a little bit of support from some other customers but it appeared that we were the only one who got really irritated by this adolescent’s manner.

My partner started to ask me questions about smoking and how I feel when I see people smoking considering I used to be a rather heavy smoker myself. And so the conversation went.

To be perfectly honest, one of the reasons why I quit smoking for more than two years ago was partly because of my partner’s influence. I managed to quit in a rather extreme manner and ever since I just can’t cope sitting around people smoking. I tried to connect myself with these people because I know the feeling being hated for smoking in a public sphere. The truth is I can not do that! I simply can’t connect myself with my previous part of me who used to smoke like a madman. It feels like the other part of me which has been eliminated and now I clearly see people smoking without being able to hide my annoyance look towards them.

They say when you’ve been through stuff you will become more tolerant about this because you know exactly how it feels like to be in that position. But as strange as it may sound I have almost zero tolerance for people smoking and this is why I particularly said I quit in an extreme fashion. I disregard smoking people and I clearly think that they are selfish and to a lesser extent hypocritical!

Selfish? They never regard other people’s feeling about the smell of cigarette or the harms being passive smokers and even though they know smoking is going to disrupt the clearness of the air, they still do it anyway. Hypocritical? Smokers also know that cigarette or nicotine can cause serious damage to your health sooner rather than later but again they still do it. Based on these arguments, you can see why I can’t connect myself with part of me who used to do the same thing and again to be brutally honest with you, I still feel really awful and horribly guilty sometimes by the fact that I used to be one of these people!

Now we move to another fact. Looking to the German society in general, I feel slightly upset by the fact that the awareness of society towards cigarette is arguably low. Fact said last night, there was no social pressure to this young couple from other customers even though they knew the smell of the cigarette ruined the nice ambiance of the restaurant. Okay, it was not a non-smoking restaurant but it does not justify that you are inconsiderately able to smoke whenever you like. And if such event occurs there is nothing that stops someone from smoking besides social pressure or social stigmatisation.

If I am allowed to compare it to Britain, you can really feel the significance of social pressure towards smokers. This is partly due to the fact that the British government has been promoting and implementing smoking ban in public places. The same similar ban is coming into effect in France from the beginning of 2008. Apart from smoking ban, as far as I observed, you can always feel the awareness of the society about this issue. Every time you try to light up your cigarette in a public place you get a stern look from people around you unless you are in a designated area for smokers. The bottom line is, the German society in general, this includes the government arguably, might have to push or raise the awareness of the people about this issue by giving the smokers uncomfortable feeling every time they start to light up the cigarette in public places. Self fulfilling prophecy is not just an obscure term and I do believe if people are being positive to campaign anti smoking in public places, the energy might spread throughout the country!

So kids, i really want you to put out that cigarette!

Stuck

2007-11-20T03:54:00.001+01:00

Help! I am having a stagnancy with my thesis!

home is...

2007-11-04T20:14:00.000+01:00

Do you not think it is funny how life changes dramatically in a split second? If god does exist and does create a blue print for every single encounter in the universe, i really do think he has a unique sense of humour. However, since it is highly debatable, whether he was the one who actually created the mood swing from one extreme to another, and arguably not a really interesting topic to pick at the moment, we are going to save that topic for another discussion.

I have recently been blog walking to this weblog (a lot of thanks for the picture!) and in one section read about Indonesian food and saw this scrumptious portrayal. It was a slap in my face! I should not have visited and grabbed the picture from that blog because all of sudden, after staring at the picture for quite a while, I felt a wave of homesickness inside my body (maybe it was inside my stomach to be precise, but I reckon you can't really think rationally when the image of that food is stuck in your mind!) Anyway, that was not it. While my body suddenly craved that appetising image, a funny and rather odd question sneaked inside my mind, I missed this food and for sure such food can only be found at 'home'. So, where is my home? As far as I can recall, I am not sure whether there is a place that i can really call 'home'. I tried to ask myself whereabouts is this place? Is this supposed to be Jakarta, the place where I was born, grew up and spent most of my joyful adolescent time? Who am i going to find anyway if I return to Jakarta?

For sure I miss my family especially my mother at times, but I can just pick up the phone and have a nice long chat. The longing for home would be gone after a while. So, the reason can't only be because of missing my family.

Friends? Yes, they are important in our life but then again you can argue based on the premise that the only thing that never changes is the change itself. Presumably my friends have changed as well, will I ever be able to converse with them closely and intensely like we used to?

I might and could catch things up with them but how long will it last? It doesn't mean that I'm enjoying losing contact with my best mates or simply neglecting them just like that. But at the end of the day, you realise that things are not the same as they were before. Thus, in a bizarre fashion, friendship can change as well, and it can to a lesser extent be dismissed as the cause of feeling homesick.

So the question remains, what and where is home? It is most definitely not my parents' house in Jakarta because for some reason, no matter how odd it may sound, I do not associate myself with that anymore. Neither can I correlate it with Jogjakarta, the place where I spent my bachelor degree and experienced some of the remarkable moments that changed my life for the past six years. Though some people remain special in each city, I undoubtedly no longer have any current connection with these cities and am unlikely to in the near future.

For the same reasons, I can't associate myself with any of the cities I have been to during my last three years in Germany either. They're all special in their own way but none of them feel like home.

So far, it seems like I'm just blabbering random thoughts without making any valid points. Maybe here are my final words, taken from one of my old posts:

Home...
hard to know what it is, if you never had one
Home...
I can't say where it is, but I know I'm going home...

Home is...

back to business

2007-11-02T19:23:00.000+01:00

Things have not been going very smoothly for the past months. When was it since my last post? Three or four months ago? I know I've been really rubbish but I really do need to say that it has not been that easy for the past few months to even post a modest line or two. It might not be justifiable but everyone has their own 'roller coaster' time. That is when you need to sort things out sooner rather than later.

My father passed away on the day I had my 28th birthday. It was also the day when I was attending my partner's cousin's wedding in Liverpool. A rather complex and mixture of emotion and I was indeed very fortunate to have a partner with such compassion and understanding. I could never imagine myself being able to get over it without having an abundance of guilt, for not being there at the very last moment my father passed away. Once again, I must say I coped very well and that was all because of the support of my partner. Her family and relatives were really kind as well and that was the kind of genuine support which I needed so much at that time.

After a while I did not know how I was supposed to cope with my father's death. I was raised with certain norms and values, and these simply can't be removed or changed no matter how long you live abroad. They certainly play a significant role as well in how I perceive life in general. According to this mindset, Parents are very important, and to some extent you should devote yourself to your parents as they do the same thing when we are young. So not being able to devote yourself to your parents is already atrocious enough, but not being able to be there when your father passes away is an ultimate disaster. Okay, I am exaggerating a bit and it already sounds dreadful without having to add dramatisation into it, but believe me it does leave a bad taste in your mouth!

So I have asked myself over and over again, was it justifiable? I can't answer that. All I know is that this is one of the logical consequences of living and studying abroad.

People in Indonesia seem to have false ideas about living or studying overseas. I must admit, I was one of these people before I left to continue my study in Germany. However, reality appears to be totally different and it took me quite sometime to achieve such a level of understanding. Losing the endearing moments with your family and friends is one of the prices you have to pay. Was I ready? Again, I really can't answer that.

I was shattered but then again life must carry on. I probably wouldn't gain anything by keeping myself stuck in that moment and being too emotional about it. There's nothing you can do besides being very rational to cope with that because that is the only way you can carry on without falling apart or being eaten by your emotion. Although the holiday in Britain was not particularly joyful it was nevertheless enjoyable. Enough said.

Since then, my partner and I have moved to Berlin and we've officially been Berliner for the last 6 weeks. I was really pleased and felt slightly relieved by the time we actually moved in to our new flat. Looking for a flat in Berlin was a horrendous experience and one that I am not willing again to go through anytime in the near future. However, it was worthwhile doing if you know how cool this city is! Some say it's the city of culture while others say it's a tale of two cities. Whatever people say, Berlin is gorgeous and (my theory) the longer you live in Berlin the more stunned you are by the coolness of the city. I am relishing the prospect of discovering lots and lots of cool part and 'cultural' events in Berlin, such as this one:

We heard from a friend that there has been a festival of light in Berlin for the past weeks. So one evening we went out to confirm the truth of this rumour. It happened to be very 'enlightening' and the city looked extraordinarily beautiful and rather different from how it normally looks in the day time. Too bad that evening rain was pouring down and we weren't able to complete the mission to take more pictures from the other 'enlightening' bits of the city. However, I believe the rendezvous was one of many exciting things that lies ahead of us in this city. We love Berlin already!

question of the day

2007-06-12T15:04:00.000+02:00

How can you make God laugh?

answer: see comment section =)

playlist of the month

2007-06-06T15:00:00.000+02:00

Top-ten hits of the month:

1. Just - Radiohead
2. Love Song - The Cure
3. Warning Sign - Coldplay
4. Nothing Hurts - Catatonia
5. Quelqu'un m'a dit - Carla Bruni
6. I Miss You - Blink 182
7. Rockin' The Suburbs - Ben Folds
8. I Bet U Look Good on the Dance Floor - Arctic Monkeys
9. Pure Shores - All Saints
10. Trouble - Ray La Montagne

Album of The Month:
Alright, Still - Lily Allen

Note:
The top ten hits' arrangement is based on subjective judgement and has nothing to do with their current popularity whatsoever. All songs listed can be brand new, fairly new, not-so new, too-old-to-be-called new, and completely old songs. This condition applies to album of the month as well. All songs' video clip could probably be found in Youtube.

they were probably missing in action, Marie...

2007-06-05T10:59:00.000+02:00

the question from her on her blog about the BBC reporter Alan Johnston who has been reported missing for awhile did succeed to make me ponder.

Indeed, not all reporter is somewhat as "fortunate" as Alan Johnston. People can share their concern by spreading the so-called "alan johnston button" which can be found also on this blog. Through this, anyone can follow, from the first day to the recent "update" his disappearance. According to report from BBC, Alan Johnston, the only international correspondent still living and working in the lawless Gaza Strip, was kidnapped on his way home from his Gaza City office on 12 March. Intensive international efforts have been orchestrated in order to secure his release.

However, the answer of marie's inquiry remains ambiguous: What happens to those who are lacking of support from the big media company? Were they simply reported as missing in action or had there also ever been some kind of "international efforts" in order to secure their release? What happened with these people who were less "fortunate" than AJ and did not receive the luxurious media hype, nevertheless, they were also dedicated to their profession? And for this, the words from Samuel Beckett popped out in my mind: "you live on earth, and there's no cure for that".
Should we see the world the way Beckett perceived it?

salam

they found him?

2007-06-01T16:08:00.000+02:00

Breaking news! Do you see the button logo of BBC reporter Alan Johnston on the sidebar of this blog? just read THIS article in Guardian saying that he's been treated well by his captor in a video released today..

one should never stop learning...

2007-05-30T13:48:00.000+02:00

Striking! All of sudden the words from Franklin D. Roosevelt popped up in my head, the only thing that new in this world is the history that you don't know. As I started to open a page in "confession of a philosopher", I learned and discovered new facts that one of the incredible civilisation of the German-speaking world existed in the short period between the late eighteenth and early twentieth centuries. A combination from brilliant composers, whose music influenced people all over the world until today, and apt philosopher, whose ideas and thoughts shaped the intellectual atmosphere until nowaday. Initiated by the emergence of renaissance and part of the early modern period - the period whose representative figures include Mozart, Kant, Haydn, Beethoven, Schubert, Goethe, Schiller, Schopenhauer, Hegel, Marx, Brahms, Wagner, Nietzsche, Mahler, Freud, and Einstein. In the words of Schopenhauer, the philosopher is doing in abstracto what an artist is doing in concreto.

salam

speaking about monopoly

2007-05-29T12:07:00.000+02:00

Back to business! I finally recovered from my sickness. After being told by a 'somewhat unfriendly' German doctor that he found no dodgy indication in my blood test result, i felt a bit relieved from the prospect of having infected by malaria after our last Indonesia's visit. Apparently, Lucy was not fully convinced that my illness was just an effect of exhaustion, lack of sleep, bad diet and combined by extreme weather change. So, she had a small internet research about the possible ailment from my symptom. And she found out that my symptoms might have been from malaria, which i of course strongly doubted. It fully fit the criteria, she mentioned. And later, she 'successfully' forced me to arrange an appointment with a German GP to have a thorough blood test. I was surely reluctant about the idea but nevertheless would give it a go. The test was done and the result was negative (as i presumed at the first place!). Despite having experienced a wee inconvenience during the whole processes with the GP, I was nevertheless grateful to lucy and afterward feeling ready for my next adventure. Yup, my internship at GEPA.

I was supposed to do my internship last summer, as it is part of the requirements to complete our course. But for some reasons i was not able to accomplish this at early stage. Fortunately, I had the opportunity to do it in the area which i quite enjoy doing, fair trade, in the regional office one of the biggest fair trade organisation in Europe, GEPA. I have been doing it for two weeks and commute every day from Fulda to Alzenau which takes 1,5 hours with the regional train. It took a while to get used to it but it is only a matter of habituation until one can fully enjoy what one does. Besides that, i've always treated myself with books and music along the journey, and therefore i must say it's always been a pleasant thing to do. But today something slightly changed my mind. As i set off from Fulda at 7 o'clock, the train moved rather in slow pace and it was 10 minutes delayed from the original departure time. Some passangers were really grumpy before the train eventually set off. One could really hear them whinning and bemoaning inside the train, expressing their dissatisfaction of the service from the Deutsche Bahn, the state railways company. I was not surprised at all when this thing occurred, as it was not the first time the train departure delayed from its original schedule, especially during the past two weeks where i've become closer enough to witness their performance.

So, the train kept going in steady pace until it was surprisingly halted at some place in between Fulda and Hanau and had to be returned back to previous train station. The official announced that they were experiencing problems with the railway and therefore the train had to return and travel from another platform at the previous train station. I was thinking to text my co-worker from gepa because he normally picks me up at the other train station and drives from there to the office. At that point i began to realise that i actually forgot to bring my mobile and left it at home (Oupfh! is life not ironic? Most of the time when i needed the train to be slightly late, even if it was only 30 seconds, it never was late and always punctual. On the contrary, when i needed the train to be really punctual, at that very moment, i realised that it always worked the other way round). Anyway, at that point I had to be decisive - which arguably is not one of my strong point - and continued my journey to Hanau. Arriving in Hanau, feeling cold and frustrated, some intriguing question penetrated my mind about the state-owned company performance - in this regard the German railways company. Imagine how many people would be arriving late at the office and became less productive than they were supposed to be? How many passangers could not catch their flight, had they had to travel to the airport and fly overseas? How many students would miss some part of their lecture, had they had early class at the university or school? If one really started to calculate and estimate the casualty that might have emerged from such incident, perhaps interesting numbers or figure would appear.

The thing is, it's not that i am not contented with the service provided by the Deutsche Bahn. They are indeed a very competent service provider and have proved from time to time to be reliable company. Regardless what they've performed recently, they still fulfill certain accountability level which makes the whole difference. Plus, as far as i know, the consumer right protection in Germany is very strong and really well-implemented. So if they detect any erratic or unusual display from public service company, they have the power and ability to turn things round. Then the pressure is there for this company to improve their service. And if their attempt is only to do some lip-service or camouflage to the society, they will fail. The balance is there and the system works properly so to speak.

Yet again, to me, this reminds me to a classical debate whether to open the market for another provider or to keep thing going as it is (i.e. lack of competition for the service and lack of viable substitute service). The presence of the cut-price flight company across the continent, inside the country or amongst region did not seem to move the state railway company either, at least to reduce the fare or giving a certain offer to their loyal costumer. Still, I read in some article that last year the Deutsche Bahn were complaining of the loss and not being able to create good turnover. If the number of people who register their car increase instead of people who buy the annual ticket, I wonder even more how they would react.

In addition to my lovely day, the rain poured really hard and i forgot to bring my umbrella. So i had to walk super fast for about 10 minutes from the train station to the Gepa regional office. All in all, it was somewhat elevating experiences and at the end of the day, one, in this case myself, should and could only laugh at oneself's stupidity. What does not kill you, makes you stronger, said Nietzsche.

Have a jolly good day!

Ill

2007-05-01T12:27:00.000+02:00

I'm sick. I have no energy so am dictating this to Lu and she is typing for me. I was thinking about death and how someone wrote in their book that death is actually not a separate phase, rather an integral part of life. But I can't recall who wrote that. Once I was close to death, I think. So close that I hallucinated seeing 'the death' and felt really pathetic saying "sorry" to everyone as if I would never see them again. Hmm. Maybe it was Dante who wrote that, or was it part of the book 'Journey of the Soul'? This is getting depressing, here is a happy note to finish on: at least I have an excellent private nurse/scribe to look after me whilst I am feeling rubbish :D And by the way, have a nice May day!

Salam

Read, watched, heard and discussed

2007-04-16T15:42:00.000+02:00

It's April and it's shinning brightly outside. The temperature is phenomenally hot, almost 30 degree Celsius. People claim it's never been like this before. I suppose the global warming is not just a nonsensical and waste-of-time-to-discuss issue. It does exist and it's there outside, ready to tear our skin apart.

A Reportage from BBC recently shows that the area that suffers at most from the global warming is on the polar regions, especially on the North pole where the indigenous people, Inuit, reside. The scientists say the rising temperature are warming the polar regions faster than anywhere else on the planet. There is a growing concern from some people due to the climate change, particularly the increase of the anthropogenic green house gas concentrations which leads to warming of the surface and lower atmosphere by increasing the greenhouse effect.

Surprisingly, or perhaps not really that surprising, the facts have been denied by some (American) scientist. They doubted the main stream idea of global warming and saying that the principal cause of the global warming remains unknown. In addition to that, they also added up that global warming is mostly due to the natural processes and that global warming is good for the society. Since America was the only country refusing to sign up the Kyoto Protocol, it must have explained a lot why they released such argumentation.

Apart from global warming issue, I've recently finished reading 'A Year in the Merde' by Stephen Clarke. Quite entertaining book. Rather different from what i expected, nevertheless worthwhile reading. It's about an Englishman who was sent to Paris by his company and had to spend a year there setting up an English tea room. The real adventure begins as he encounters intricate relations between France and England in his daily activities i.e. at work with his boss and the co-workers, in bed i.e. couple of interesting facts about Parisians regarding the sexual activities, during shopping, as well as at the restaurant.

The author view about the attitude of each nations toward European Union is also plausible within the framework of the novel. Couple of insider tips and tricks to cope with life as if you are Parisian could be more than useful if you want to spend time for more than a wee while in Paris. The French commentary from the author combined by his English sense of humor is absolutely well formed and completely hilarious. And miraculously, the book became a huge hit among the French and the Expats alike. So, dare i say it is worth reading! =)

Now, let's switch to my favourite bit. Not long ago, I was completely crazy about KT Tunstall's song (click this and maybe this one too, to read her interesting biography). Yes, the inspiring 'Suddenly I See'. I found the rhythm is nice and easy listening, plus she has quite strong and beautiful voice. It turned out to be that this song appears in the beginning of the movie 'The Devil Wears Prada'.

Well, it was sort of a coincidence when i was watching it and found out that this song as one of its soundtrack. I never really expected this to happen though. The film was so-so, if not somewhat superficial. The morality play in this film is predictable and it never really slices deeper than the surface. Nonetheless, watching Meryl Streep as a remarkably scary character is enjoyable. And frankly, that is the only entertaining bit in the film. Not surprisingly, according to this article, the film is the most expensively-costumed film in the history. If you consider yourself as a chick-flick fan, this film is, arguably, enjoyable. However, seeing it from a different angle (read: if you were thrilled with such film like 21 Grams or Mystic River) I don't really recommend you to watch it.

To conclude, let me insert some interesting and very inspiring quote by Goethe: "Life belongs to the living, and they who live must be prepared for changes". So, Berlin here we come!

Oh, one final advice, don't forget to put sunblock onto your skin when you go out, the UV doesn't compromise too much nowadays and is more than happy to leave some noticeable mark sooner rather than later. Nevertheless, enjoy the warmth of April sun!

salam

This is hilarious!

2007-04-05T23:25:00.000+02:00

Hehehe... i tried this from his blog and i think it's really funny! it cracked me up when i viewed the results. How about you try it and see what you'll get?

I tried twice with different photos and guess what i got? =)) Oh by the way, who the heck is Eddie Cibrian? and Thandie Newton? has she got something to do with Sir Isaac Newton? Goran Visnjic? some of these celebs are really famous, so famous I've never even heard their obscure names! I guess the angles of your photo do influence the outcomes. But me looks like Robbie?? no way, jose! I'd prefer Bob Dylan in this case..

salam

It's all feminism's fault (again)

2007-03-28T11:10:00.000+02:00

Back to life and reality in Fulda after a month having a tropical paradise 'reunion' in Indonesia. Everyone from our course is almost away and it is rather quiet. It seems everything goes in a slow pace and rhythm. Nothing change much and i found it somehow bizarre and perhaps rather amusing how things went amazingly so fast when you are away. Yet, when you are back to where you were before, your starting point, so to speak - say in my case Fulda - the time is frozen, or it feels as if nothing really changed since you were away, or maybe it is just Fulda?

When we are away for quite sometimes, things naturally change. We hear, feel, see and sense something new. The sensation of this newness influences our mind and as a result creates a distinctive change within. This transformation at some point reshapes our feelings and how we perceive the world afterward. We no longer see things as the way they used to be. We are a changed individual. Perhaps, in the words of Ernesto Guevara, once you travel and escape from your box, you open up the 'boundaries'. Although we can't really compare 'normal traveling' with what El Che' had experienced at that time as they completely are two different things, but nevertheless the same analogy could be used at seeing how traveling could actually open up your self-frontier. El Che himself had his political and social awakening after having face-to-face contact with poverty, exploitation, illness, injustice and suffering. These factors were apparently the crucial factors that had profound impact on him and drove him to become one of the most famous guerrilla leaders ever.

Having traveled a month away from Germany and returning to Indonesia has brought number of consequences. Home is sadly not the home I used to know, yet nothing changed that much since i left. A peculiar contradictory. I noticed that things have even gone worse in some aspects back home. The jobs insecurity, the traffics, the pollutions, the economic inflation, the social disparity, and the list might continue even longer. Not to mention about the number of transportation accidents, as well as, natural disasters that occurred during the past years. Voila! you name the misery, we have it! It's just something in the air...

I am not trying to disgruntle by the fact things have worsen in so many ways. I know exactly also that these have already existed even before. It's just sad to witness and even sadder when you know you can't do anything about it except just to let it go as it is perhaps part of life in general. Even so, it is still frustrating knowing you can't fight back and swallow it as it is as if you do not have any courage to make change.

Anyway, enough about the impression of the journey back home. I came across an interesting article in Guardian about feminism. But this time, it is rather quirk yet fairly entertaining to read. let me know what you think about the article.

salam

ps: the photos of Indonesia's visit can be viewed on Lucy's blog

Leaving

2007-02-13T19:04:00.000+01:00

For some people, it might be a really big catastrophe of not having 'soundtrack of your life'. Sort of compilation of songs that spice up your life. Well, i tell you what: I have difficulty to picture my life not having this kind of 'playlists' for each and every occasion. Music is part of my life. It is possibly part of everyone's life. Since it was firstly discovered, for more than 4000 years BC or even more, music has evolved and gone through periods of time, namely medieval, renaissance, baroque, classical, romantic, and 20th century era music. Albeit this periodical is rather bias because of the usage of the western civilisation to remark the birth of written records and studies deal with the history of music.

So, that was the prologue and now three remaining days before our departure to Indonesia. The song from Chantal Kreviazuk came across my thought. I have no idea why but it just happened to be the first song that popped out my mind for this kind of occasion - leaving a place and heading to another place. Though, some bits from Oasis in their 'married with children' fit also perfectly for the occasion - goodbye, I'm going home. Interestingly, when i typed the word 'leave' in my iTunes, couple of good songs appeared. 'Don't leave home' - Dido, 'leave' - Matchbox 20, 'leaving New York' - R.E.M., 'if you leave me now' by Chicago and some other obscure songs.

What has it got to do with my current state of being? Well, this is indeed an emotional moment. It never really occurred in my mind that this was going to be sentimental flashback and retrospective mood. From the very first time i departed Jakarta until these three remaining days. Music has always been and will always be one of the greatest companion in my life...

Almost

2007-02-13T18:39:00.000+01:00

Almost a year since my last posting.
Things have changed since.
Almost two and half years since my first day arriving in Germany.
Things have changed since.

Almost this and almost that.
and things have changed since..
It's about time...

When i decided to resurrect this page from the depth of my thought, I fully knew the consequences to discipline my chaotic mind once again. I knew I've lost it somewhere along the way. A piece of me.
The need to articulate fragments of life, to reunite and give them meanings. Or perhaps simply the need of catharsis, to purify the black spots. I've lost it somehow along the way.
It's about to conduct yourself to a certain habituation, a pattern. But, I've lost it along the way.
Let this tiny piece of posting be the new beginning. So that I know, I have not fully lost it...

countdown has started!

2006-01-07T10:56:00.000+01:00

the countdown has just started! I guess this would be the month where all the iceus juniors are so stressed and probably rather depressed with tons of tasks i.e. finishing the presentation from Prof. Ott (argh! beside preparing the presentation, we are also obliged to make minimum 15 pages homework from our topic! please sir, with all due respect! give us a break will you?), collecting more resources and writing them down for Prof. Zwengel's task (fyi, i'm still in a state of questioning what the advantages would be by doing this task. Oh well, we are required to do it anyway, so i guess it's not even worthwhile questioning it), gathering and reorganising things for xenology project (again another not-so-useful-but-we-are-forced-to-do-it project! i'm sorry Prof. Hinnenkamp, no offence!), reading more books and sorting material out for European Integration (hmm.. i'm speechless about this task! don't get me wrong. he's a good lecturer and also a decent human being, but there's something 'funny' with the way he lectures.. it's too monotone probably?), etcetera, and so on. Oh, not to forget to mention the papers that we must send to Prof. Hinnenkamp with his Semiotic and Pragmatic Models which i have just noticed today that some colleagues in iceus have not sent them yet (gee, i thought i was the only one in class who procrastinates about things. guess what...? there are plenty of them =P i don't really know whether i should be happy or sad knowing this fact).

despite the fact that we have only a few more weeks left before we have our semester holiday, i suppose everyone is trying their best to keep (or forced to keep) their mood going well so they can hold their current pace study rhythm and finish the first semester decently. there have not been many things happening lately since the new year's break. We have only one more lecture from Prof. Schrader in European Law sometime during this month, which i presume is a good thing for all of us because we won't be forced to wake up at 7.30 on wednesday morning again, rushing to the class hurriedly just to avoid the guilty feeling when we arrive late. I am actually a bit sad about it because it appears that we (or i personally) only started to enjoy this lecture after we'd been on the excursion to strasbourg. Enjoying the lecture in the sense it became clearer than it ever was before (at least for me personally because he always used such complicated law terms in German). Oh well, c'est la vie.. you never really know what you have til it's gone. He's a nice person and a competent lecturer afterall. Hmm, i'm quite anxious about the 3 hour exam as a result of the combination between Prof. Nothdurft and Prof. Hinnenkamp lectures (it's gonna suck!). On top of that, we still have to think or at least already have idea about where we are going to make our internship (I don't know whether i'm exaggerating about our current situation or if it really is that terrible! well, i guess im just self-pitying here..)hmm, it could be worse!

cheers mate!

ps: same entry can be viewed in iceus blog

a slight but decent update?

2006-01-02T02:16:00.000+01:00

well, this is definitely not becoming part of my new year's resolutions, but, indeed i'm rather happy to make an attempt (and lots of efforts as well!) updating my blog templates.

some of you might think, "what is he doing? why is he so inconsistent?" or even "gee, doesn't he have any better things to do beside occupying most of his time with blogging?". well, i was bored with my old templates and i still have the right to comfort myself and gain some reward for my recent study effort. Blogging is my hummble reward, though.

anyway, here's the most recent updates of my templates. enjoy!

well, one more thing before i conclude my update entry, would really like to say "happy new year to one and all! wishing you all more joyful moments to be through in 2006! all the best..

ps: more updates are coming soon!

The Joy of Atheism (part.2)

2005-12-24T11:51:00.000+01:00

So, here I am, contemplating the ongoing journey of this year which will soon reach its final days within next week. I realised some of you might be bored, disappointed, discontent or whatever every time visiting my blog because there haven’t been many things happening for quite sometime such as new entries, poems or photos (as if my blog is really that important to visit?!). Well, somehow I have to admit that maintaining blog takes quite big amount of energy plus as odd as it may sound, creating such good entry is not that easy either.

Well anyway, I am pleased to announce that after an awfully long break at some stage in the past months; I’m finally able gaining up again the lost-motivation of blogging i.e. trying to produce new entry for my blog. Back to the topic, I’ve been lately (again) interested to the issue which I have already put aside ever since leaving Indonesia. I’m now intrigued to cut even deeper to discover what lies underneath the surface.

Religion is an amusing business. I've never quite comprehended the real meaning and purpose of religion – a thing that plays such an important role in so many people’s lives. Forever remaining such a blurry and to me unsatisfying concept and state of mind. The lack of religion or belief seemingly creates the opposite – a life devoid of spiritual concerns. However non-religion it self can create a ‘religious’ element. Atheism is not then all joy – joy is in the release, the freedom, the choice – for atheism is about will.

I write one day before Christmas, here in majority Christian Germany. Today, the number of believers in all regions in Germany is smaller than it was in the past. Apart from the fact that the third largest religious identity in Germany is non-religious people (including atheist and agnostic) – who amount to a total 28.5% of the population (23,5 million) – but reality remains the same, religion in this country plays quite significant role, although not much more than where it sits in Indonesian life (where the topic of sex is more open and religion more closed, Indonesia is the opposite: sex can be much closed and religion very open. Perhaps because religion places such a moral imperative and even dictate over sexual relations that it’s best to keep away)

What is the relevance between my in-progress entry, Christmas and atheism? Well, the relevance is between the entry and the atheism. The Christmas moment is functioning as a trigger, although I am rather tempted and it might also be slightly interesting to observe the significance of these things. The fact that I am now sitting all alone in my room and witnessing the Christmas tradition in Germany have brought a number of consequences to my consciousness.

Be not mistaken, religion and god(s) are two very separate things. God the incomprehensible, the infinite, the perfect bestows us with life, this world and this existence. Placed, if placed is the right word, somewhere beyond comprehension in an existence (again, an appropriate term?) as the formation and underscore of all. God is such a tricky concept, an improvable that we humans try to prove; an incomprehensible that we try to comprehend; a perfection that makes no sense. This is the reality of god – indeed an alien concept – a sparse and utopian concept that underscores so much of humanity.

I know that there is a computer below my fingers – I can see it, touch it, and cause a response of similar attributes. A material object that is recognized by one or more of my humanly senses. The human knows and understands the material world in this way and we carry our respective lives through life this way. Feeling, touching, seeing, smelling, tasting, and hearing what occurs around us and interpreting and deciding on such evidence. These responses lead to the brain, our thought centre, where information is compiled, evaluated and a decision made.

We are very much animalistic in this way, and if animals are indeed machines of reaction, then we are animal at our core. This of course being another issue of concern for religion, and one I can return to. However the fact that I can sit here and write what I write proves something beyond the senses. Composition of thought is a difficult thing to explain, but such an everyday occurrence. Something we do without ‘thinking’ – we are aware of the senses we receive and can ponder their significance and comment upon their meaning. We can cause our bodies to seek more of that sense satisfaction. A process that keeps us on the move and sustained as we seek in a sense the repetition of satisfaction.

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The fundamental question that floats around inside my head – is a why? Question – Why do you believe what you believe? This can lie at the root of all questions about god(s) and its human interpretation, religion.

• What is religion?
• From where did you get your ‘beliefs’?
• Who enforces/updates/controls the belief system/religion/interpretation
• What is it that qualifies the religion?
• What questions does the religion answer?
• How are these questions answered?
• What does the religion require of you?
• What does the religion promise?

Religion:
• Is dogmatic and uncritical of itself
• Requires ‘belief’ and acceptance of all its rules. This is what it demands, but rarely if at all achieves
• Uses religion/god as self-supporting/justifying proof or evidence – and when provided, is often blurry.
• Is hypocritical!
• Often operates as a cult – closed to questions, mass groupings with one accepted, dispensing leader, love bombing, adherence etc.
• And the clash between god’s attributes/dictates and the rules/regulations of religion.

Questions to god:
• If god is perfect, omnipotent, omnipresent etc – why does he/she/it bother to exist?
• Is that ‘perfection’ static or move with time? It must move, for we live in a timed universe. Is god outside time? Is perfection timeless?
• Logic? And whose? Human, demy or none at all?
• Why does god need believers? To satisfy its ego, to give it something to laugh at, to sustain it?
• God and rules. Why, if ultimately created and controlled ‘from above’, do we need moral/religious rules and regulations?
• Where are you?
• Are we parts of god’s perfection, representatives thereof, and children if you will, and should we emulate, reflect, derive for or abhor this perfection?
• How do we ‘bring ourselves closer to god’?
• Is god’s incomprehensibility a proof/argument that he exists or doesn’t exist?
• If humanity becomes extinct does god die?
• Can god die?
• If all people stop believing in god, does he cease to exist

(Some of the stronger) arguments in favor of god:

• How and why everything came to exist.
• We as humans are left to our own free will, to do as we please.
• The passing down of religion from parent to child, and thus it must all come from a source i.e. god.

We were then born with a leader – a spiritual, ethereal being – that intrinsically controls or lives.
The human world is full of dichotomies/polarities – yin/yang. Is god the unification, the non-existence of these? Or beyond?
Who needs who? We need god; god doesn’t need us – most religions.
Does the statement: ‘there’s no god’ have any meaning?
Use all justifications and reasons for god to then ask the question – so why does it need to exist at all.

Froehe Weihnachten und einen guten Rutsch ins neue Jahr 2006!
Alles Gute

The Joy of Atheism (part.1)

2005-12-24T01:20:00.000+01:00

Atheism is a feeling of confidence.
Atheism has nothing to prove.
Atheism requires no subservience.
Atheism is not sustained by hypocrisy.
Atheism demands nothing.
Atheism is objective and eye-opening.
Atheism is the power of nothing.
Atheism excludes nobody.
Atheism is rule less.
Atheism is non-discriminatory.
Atheism has no up and down, black and white.
Atheism is questions.
Atheism is embracing and inclusive.
Atheism gives nothing but takes nothing.
Atheism has no beginning, or any end.
Atheism is liberating.
Atheism has no leader or dictator.
Atheism is pure and clean.
Atheism is about people.
Atheism has no set morality.
Atheism requires no belief.
Atheism is you.
Atheism is joy.

fun, fun n' fun

2005-11-04T22:33:00.000+01:00

I've just tried this new blog-thingy from her blogspot. It was fun doing it and i think everyone should try it!

Your Daddy Is Ozzy Osbourne

What You Call Him: Daddy Dearest

Why You Love Him: He takes you to Disneyland

Who's Your Daddy?

Your Mood Ring is Dark Red

Very happy
Love
Passion

Mood Ring Generator

Your IQ Is 120

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional

Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Your Personality Is

Rational (NT)

You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas.
You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy!

Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people.
In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally.

You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought.
Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals.

In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent.

At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia.

With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well.

As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly.

On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.

The Three Question Personality Test

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is 100%. You are not suited for a monogamous relationship.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a firestorm - full of intensity and drama.
Your thoughts may seem scattered to you most of the time...
But they often seem strong and passionate to those around you.
You are a natural influencer. The thoughts you share are very powerful and persuading.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child.
Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded.
You cherish all of the details in life.
Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

You Should Learn French

C'est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs.
You are definitely a Parisian at heart. You just need your tongue to catch up...

What Language Should You Learn?

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.

They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.

It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.

They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

Your Ideal Relationship is Casual Dating

Maybe you're looking for love...
But mostly you're looking for fun.
You could get serious with the right person.
For now, though, you're enjoying playing the field.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Diseased Alchemist.

Where You Lived: Portugal.

How You Died: The Plague.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

You Are 70% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy)

You're a great thinker and a true philosopher.
You'd make a talented professor or writer.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You give completely and unconditionally in relationships.

You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Friday I'm in Love

2005-11-04T17:33:00.000+01:00

Geez, everyone could be happy now. Eventually i created my own blog account in blogspot. Been told many times by her to create my own blog in blogspot. my old blog still exists though. perhaps it will only permanently inactive.
The idea of creating this blogspot was inspired after brief browsing to her blogspot. Then i realized.. oh well, it's about the time to create my lovely and inspiring blog and share it to people. =) *narciss mode: ON* Yeah yeah, my old blog in friendster doesn't support the cognitive enlargement which i have been experiencing for the past months (geez! am i still in delusion phase after last night party or what?).
Still it's like a cut in the throat to say farewell to my old blog. BUT, life must go on! life goes on anyway.. So, thanks to Blogspot.com to provide enough space for my limited writing ability.
anyway, have to continue my recovery phase after last night party. still somehow 'intoxicated' and unable to manage myself to leave the bed and clean up my messy room. Thanks to The Cure's 'Friday I'm in Love' for the accompanion and my title's posting inspiration.. Zzzz..ZzzZzz..